Contact: +61 468 796 369  | Naarm, Australia

Hello and welcome to Honest Flow! Most know me as TAYO and I am the proud founder of this virtual sacred space. :)

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I am a quirky numerologist, spiritual guide, energy healer, shamanic practitioner, yet most importantly, I am a SERVICE SOUL devoted to helping those in need. I am also a baby-faced, 40+ year "old soul". SURPRISE!!! I figured I should plant that seed in your mind now, before you decide to close the browser based on first impressions (aka the assumption that I am young and inexperienced).

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"We hate what we don't understand, yet refuse to understand because we hate."

– Unknown

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Sadly, we live in a world where we have the tendency to judge a book by its cover without realising that in doing so, we may have just closed the door on an opportunity to learn and therefore, grow. Personally, I have never been one to judge others in such a shallow way, and I find it quite interesting to observe how the majority of humanity (including those working in the spiritual fields, self-development arenas, or religious groups) proclaim that they are "conscious, kind and compassionate" human beings, yet when it comes down to it, they still can't pass the most simple test of all...

 

They still carelessly judge those that "appear" different to them. They choose to live with this inflated sense of self, with an ego that carries this false narrative around how that they can actually "know" someone based purely on how they look, their cultural background, certain fixed stereotypes or a very brief, single interaction. (Some even guise it as their "intuition" - when more often than not, it's their own self-projection).

 

Now, let me make something very clear, my job is to completely dismantle all of that. As I grow wiser and begin to move into the second half of my final earthly existence, I have come to accept that I am here to CRUSH all belief systems and structures that do not serve the greater good. (Mind you, my North Node is in the 11th House - go figure!)

 

You see, I am an ENIGMA. From the get go, I was wired differently to the "normal" or "neurotypical" folk. I am multi-faceted and thus, I am not just one, single, thing. I am NOT monochrome. I am a wild AF rainbow with sparkles, sequins, angels AND demons! I am both of the LIGHT and the DARKNESS. I show up in the world in a way that nobody ever truly expects. People tend to assume that they have me figured out - "sweet, innocent, shy, clueless, young girl" or on the other end of the spectrum, I am seen as a "wild party girl with no brains". Yet to their dismay, people find out later on that I am so far from what they initially imagined and in fact, they never truly understood or knew me in the first place. And I suppose that's one of my divine gifts? To be a total mystery to people? Just like the universe is still a mystery to many of us...

 

Truthfully, we are all so much more than our "physical avatars" or the outdated and belittling labels that society likes to ignorantly throw at us. ;)​​​​​​

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"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

– Maya Angelou

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Now before we continue to the more "juicy parts" of my life story, I want to make something very clear. This is not your usual "About Me" marketing spiel where I try to win you over with a few short and concise paragraphs on my creds/qualifications, or the stats on the hundreds or even thousands of people I have served. And that's not to say I haven't served many people either. Truth is, I have been generously supporting all kinds of people behind the scenes, in multiple ways, for a long, long time. Since my teens, I had various people "offloading" their burdens to me. Anyway, I digress...

 

So, this is where I unpack my background story (well, parts of it), in the hopes that you will understand where my drive and passion for being "in service" comes from. So you can understand my "why" - my reason for being and what has led me here today! I firstly want you to understand that I AM HUMAN and as such, I have made a tonne of foolish mistakes, which I prefer to call "must-takes". This is where I leverage my storytelling gifts, my divine gifts of communication and creative self-expression. I also want you to understand that while I have done much more "spiritual research" and study in recent years (I will forever be a student), a lot of the soul guidance that I have shared with people in the past did not come directly from books or courses that I did. Instead, it came from actual life experiences or deep soul knowing (claircognizance).

 

The reason that I have been able to effectively relate to people from all walks of life and age groups is because of the simple fact that I possess much "life experience". I have been through all kinds of things. Challenging things. Things that most would be quite shocked to learn about because I don't look nor act like what I have been through. Many have made the very foolish assumption that I am some "privileged kid" that had everything handed to me on a silver platter without realising that I have worked hard to get to this point in my life - to prove every single naysayer wrong. I have experienced both "big T" and "little t" traumas and it is these difficult experiences that have led me to become the self-empowered person that I am today - the person that I DESPERATELY NEEDED when I was growing up.

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I understand pain, struggle, hopelessness and deep despair. I understand mental chaos more than most realise. Trust me, I used to carry a very dark and negative mindset. I also know what it's like to be constantly misunderstood and underestimated - to be seen as an underdog. I know what it's like to be gossiped about (have your name dragged through the mud) just because you don't conform or do things the way everyone else does and thus, feel rejected and completely alone - even when you are surrounded by a whole lot of people. And let me just say, I have always been surrounded by plenty of people - albeit, many of them were the toxic kind. I have been through hell and back multiple times and many are unaware of these things because of my naturally sunny and childlike disposition. Plus, as a highly introverted soul, my natural tendency is to keep certain things private. It's not that I'm trying to "hide" things, it's simply how I am - this is my OS (operating system). Unlike my highly extroverted counterparts, it is not in my nature to always share my personal business or "burden" people with my struggles. Sorry to call it out, but let's get real here, extroverts love to tell everybody everything that occurs in their life. Just saying.

 

That said, I'm sure some of you may be questioning why I am being so "vocal" right now and sharing my life story here, especially if I'm a self-proclaimed "private person". It feels like a contradiction right? I get it. I can see how it would confuse people. And to be honest, the only reason I am sharing everything here, right now, in this moment in time is because I have been guided to SPEAK UP. It is time to stand in my TRUTH and SHARE MY STORY to serve others.

 

Now, despite all the hardships that I had to face, which unfortunately, also included being on the receiving end of much unjust hate, envy and harsh judgements because my "lighthearted" ways often drew out people's inner demons, I still managed to overcome the obstacles and start all over again. I kept holding onto my FAITH and the BELIEF that, "One day, things will get better... One day, it HAS to get better!!" And guess what? It most certainly has! :)​

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I'll be upfront, this is going to be a long read (if you haven't figured out already), and it's going to be raw and perhaps even triggering for some of you (Hello Haters! I hope you learn something here). To those up for the ride, wonderful. And to those of you who are not, you can simply move on to another page - how about my services page?

 

Oh and one last thing before I get into the nitty gritty details, please know that I have always been the type to go against the grain and dance to the beat of my own drum and so, following current marketing trends just isn't my style. I mean, have you seen my LinkedIn Profile? Unlike most, I refused to write in "third person" as it feels highly impersonal and fake. I also LOVE USING EMOJIS as it adds personal flair! Sure, some may see this as unprofessional or even childish (immature), however, many will be shocked to learn that I have successfully attracted recruiters (which led to amazing, well-paying jobs) through this more personal style of writing - aka staying true to myself! So what's the moral of the story? Don't knock something back until you have tried it for yourself! 🦄✨ ​

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"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine."

– Bruce Lee

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Albert Einstein once said, "Only a life lived for others, is a life worthwhile", and this statement truly represents the core essence of who I am. Even though I went through numerous struggles from a young age (unbeknownst to many), and often had unkind labels thrown at me for my perceived weaknesses or differences, one thing never changed; my strong urge to help others and be kind.

 

No matter how cruel or unjust someone had been to me, I innately felt that I should remain open to understanding them - to be compassionate. I consistently chose to SEE THE GOOD in people. I chose to forgive, again and again. I chose to give people many chances, more than some of them every truly ever deserved. And yes, I admit, there were times where I allowed my naivety to get the best of me, which left me feeling deeply betrayed and deeply heart broken. Yet regardless of all the trials and tribulations, the manipulative mind games, the backhanded comments, the back-stabbing and so forth, I never allowed myself to retaliate or seek revenge. And that's not to say I was never hurt or angry either. In fact, I was EXTREMELY ANGRY! I was EXTREMELY HURT! There were times that I felt VERY BITTER by all the mistreatment and unfair and often hypocritical judgements. However, I knew how to contain my inner demons - those dark entities, those sinister voices that often wished they could rip certain people apart for the injustice (with my words that is). Thankfully, I knew how to keep that highly destructive force inside and eventually, I learned to transform or channel that blazing fire into "ambition". I used it to rapidly propel me forward in life. I chose to listen to the more angelic (positive) whispers in my mind over the loud dark screams.

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Truthfully, the internal battles were endless. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. That said, I continued to persist and endured it all, quietly, on my own. I chose to pick myself back up with a smile on my face, time and time again. I chose to look forward into the future and more importantly, to quickly return to a state of childlike joy. I chose the frequency of love over hate because that's just how I am wired. I AM, THAT I AM.

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By the way, let me make it clear, I rarely had emotional human support growing up, but I always had spiritual support. However, at the time, I didn't realise that's what the "voices" really were. I just thought I was a weird kid that happened to like to talk to herself (in her mind).

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"Become friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow."

– Roumaissa

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Whilst my spiritual awakening officially began unfolding around 2018 through a random act of self-love (gifting myself an emerald necklace), and was rapidly catapulted by the death of our family dog in February 2019, I have always possessed a "spiritual thread" in terms of how I consciously choose to interact with others. In comparison to many of my peers, I was rarely selective with who I connected with. For example, I had peers who only wanted to associate with "cool" people and others who only wanted to associate with "good" people. Whereas for me, I was a free spirit that was open to mingling with all kinds of people because truthfully, humanity intrigued me.​

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From a young age, whether society labelled people as good or bad, rich or poor, cool or misfit, smart or dumb, city dweller or country bumpkin, straight or LGBTIQA+, older or younger, honestly, it made NO DIFFERENCE to me. I saw everyone as one and the same (equals) and so, I aimed to treat everyone as such. I strived to be generous with my time and energy to anyone that actively sought it (aka people who specifically "asked" for my time). Mind you, as an introvert, I was rarely the one initiating all the catch ups, it was always the other way around. FYI, people always want my time. Even to this day. Now, even after being fed negative "ugly" stories about others, I always made the conscious effort to give people the benefit of the doubt before making any final judgements myself. I believed in seeking out the truth from the source, using my own discernment, over just believing everything you hear from third parties who often have a hidden agenda. As a result, I gained an abundance of love and support from people from all walks of life and age groups because of my ability to accept people where they were at. On the other end of the scale, I attracted a lot of petty hate from envious (highly insecure) individuals too. (A story for another time).

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For me, no one is truly "better" or "worse". I simply see souls longing for love, support and genuine acceptance. Souls wishing to be seen, to be heard, to be understood. Something that I had desperately yearned for myself, especially in my younger, more formative years.

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“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”

– Mother Teresa

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When I reflect on how my life story has unfolded, it's pretty bizarre. I never once imagined that I would end up working in the spiritual field! I am also 90% certain that numerous people from my past would be in TOTAL DISBELIEF right now too. The general consensus was that I'd never amount to anything of great significance. In fact, some viewed me as an "underdog" - a complete loser! INCLUDING MYSELF! (I am my own worst enemy and critic after all!)

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You see, I had lived such an unconventional life, far from the textbook depiction of a "spiritual life". I have heard from many fellow spiritualists' of their stories where they were communing with Spirit from a young age, or that they were dabbling in witchcraft, divination tools and learning about healing modalities very early on. They had been nurturing their intuitive or artistic gifts from the beginning and on that note, I just want to point out, that is a privilege and I hope those of you who were/are gifted that opportunity cherish it. Not all of us get that beautiful experience. Honestly, I would have loved to embark on the spiritual path much earlier on in life. However, that was not my destined path. My soul had other plans.

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So yes, I was no disciplined yogi or monk nor was I some religious soul that "followed all the rules" and "lived by the book". And I am certainly not vegan or vegetarian (yet). In fact, for a large portion of my life, I was the total opposite of these things. While I may have "looked innocent" on the outside, I was actually quite rebellious, especially in my teenage years. I was viewed as highly scattered and "all over the place" by many of my peers, and I was without a doubt, my parents' worst nightmare!

 

In comparison to my two younger siblings, my behaviour was pretty atrocious. I was extremely moody (an emotional wreck) and highly disrespectful towards my parents and I regularly "disappointed" them. I carried multiple demons that often showed up as me screaming foul language at the top of my lungs, and slamming doors in their faces. I snuck out ("escaped") often to party and hang with the perceived "bad kids". For decades my parents would attempt to place restrictions on me by verbally threatening to disown me if I didn't "obey the household rules", BUT... I just wouldn't listen! I just wouldn't behave. I hated the feeling of being "controlled" or "oppressed". And so, they heavily criticised me and saw me as the black sheep of the family. Yes, I was the one that brought "shame" to the family line. I was the one setting a "bad example" for everyone - my siblings, my cousins and my peers. "Don't be like her..."

 

That said, I don't blame my parents. I can't imagine that it was easy for them to raise someone as stubborn, rebellious and highly reactive as me. After all, I was an EMOTIONAL MESS. Plus, I was carrying hidden baggage... I was a ticking time bomb. Furthermore, I was never "normal" to begin with. From a young age, I was noticeably different to my peers, and in more recent years, I discovered that I was on the ADHD spectrum (clinically diagnosed with what was formerly known as ADD), which explained A WHOLE LOT about my irregular mood swings and my inability to understand or do what seemed like very "normal" things to everyone else (i.e. being "on time" to things and being able to listen or concentrate).

 

In addition, I am highly introverted which adds a whole other layer of complexity because when people hear "ADHD" the immediate image they have is of the kid that cannot sit still and talks over everyone. Yet because I am highly introverted (more on the quiet side), my struggles were not so obvious and so, people think I don't struggle. Anyway, the above does make me neurodivergent. Sadly though, this is a concept that is very hard to explain to traditional Asian parents and anyone else who doesn't struggle "internally" (in their head) for that matter. So yes, I was definitely not the ideal daughter that my parents had hoped for, which of course, left a big chip on my shoulders...

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On reflection, I have many regrets about my clearly toxic behaviour towards my parents, who in reality, did their best to raise me at their level of consciousness at the time. In hindsight, I understand that my parents had their own difficulties and traumas to deal with too, and I had been a firsthand witness to many of them. I saw their pain. I saw their anger. I saw the dark moments of despair. I still vividly remember this one image of my dad at one of his lowest dark points. It was quite depressing (and disappointing) to witness, especially at such a young age. I actually remember shaking my head at him in total disappointment. Anyway, nothing truly came "easy" to our family - everyone had to work hard. However, to the rest of the world, everyone around us, it was somehow perceived as otherwise. All people saw was "money and wealth" which in their minds, instantly equated to "happiness". Our family was seen as "blessed" and "lucky", and it is these foolish comments that truly make my blood boil because that is not the whole truth. That was NOT the reality!

 

We struggled in other ways, we just didn't express it to the world because there was a "perfect family image" to uphold, which let's face it, always seems to be the case within the Asian community. "Reputation" is everything and this is actually something I frequently butted heads with my parents about. I would often scream at my mum, "Why does it even f**ken matter what other people think??! Who f**ken cares??!!" (Followed by a door being slammed in her face...)

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So, please allow me to be completely transparent and hit you with the truth about my family dynamics. Firstly, I want people to understand that I did not come from some perfect family household where it was all "sunshine and rainbows". Yes, there were plenty of wonderful days and great memories, more so than the bad ones (I can't deny that) but, there were also bad days in between. My parents were both refugees who had escaped a war-stricken country (Vietnam), which evidently meant that they had their own traumas. Sure, our family was more financially stable and secure than most around us, but we were still considered to be a working class family. And we definitely didn't start "well-off". Like most Vietnamese refugees that arrived in Australia in the 70s, my parents had to start from scratch. Just like everyone else in their shoes. My mum began working as a seamstress and then ended up working in various factories as a process worker for decades. Whereas my father worked multiple odd jobs, also in factories, until he finally became a full-time truck driver (and still is). We are not "multi-millionaires" by any means. More importantly, our family dynamics, particularly in the distant past (over 3 decades ago), were highly dysfunctional and toxic. There was a lot of volatile and intense arguments happening between my parents - the kind that once in a blue moon, left a new hole in the wall. Courtesy of my father. Yep.

 

You see, my father worked really hard to provide for the family, and he was also under a lot of pressure due to being the eldest son in the family line. Many people relied on him, from uncles, aunts, grandparents etc, and also those within his community and social networks (he was well known by many). He was the "go to" person for everyone. He was also a "yes" person. A "people pleaser". A person that also financially loaned a lot of money to others (to my mother's disapproval).

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Random Side Note: both my father and I carry the same life path/purpose (9), and interestingly enough, we have experienced very similar life lessons around "over giving" to our own detriment...

 

Sadly, the constant self-sacrificing and inability to set firm boundaries, led my father to gradually "escape" (numb the stress) via substance abuse. In time, he became a heavy, hot-tempered alcoholic. There was another illegal substance that he abused in his earlier years too, but he gave that vice up before I hit my teens (at least, that's when I think he stopped?). Not many people know this. Not even those who have been in my life for 30+ years. Anyway, when my father was in one of his foul moods due to exhaustion, he'd come home and cause a huge racket. He'd slam the door open, stomp around the house aggressively and spit foul language (to himself at first). He basically had a temper tantrum because he was so damn tired from helping everyone and not feeding himself adequately. Then, he'd start having a go at my mother. Sometimes for a reason (my mother was really good at pushing his buttons) and sometimes for no good reason at all. He was just "angry". Luckily (for my mother), she was quite the feisty soul, so she was able to stand her ground and ferociously argued back with him. That said, it was a highly destructive environment. There was a lot of screaming and sometimes smashing of objects in the house. I still remember the day that it go so bad, that the police came knocking at our door. Anyway, it was definitely no place for three, very young and highly sensitive children. It didn't feel safe, nor did it feel healthy. And it definitely was not an environment that I would ever personally associate with the words "blessed" or "lucky". And whenever those explosive episodes occurred, my natural instinct would be to quickly usher my younger siblings into the bedroom with me, and then tell them to hide under blankets and block out the noise. Next, I'd place a pillow over my head and then cover my ears in an attempt to block out the raging noise. In those moments, I was scared, yet I also felt very protective of my younger siblings. Somehow, I felt responsible for their wellbeing and safety. In those moments, I felt like I HAD to be the parent. The responsible adult. I had to "grow up" quickly. Yet the reality was, I was still a child at heart. Honestly, I hated those nights the most. I often wondered when the day would come where my father "lost control". I prayed that it wouldn't get to that, but there was also a part of me that would ask, "But what happens if it does? What happens then?" Luckily for all of us, it never got to that. My father never let it get physical towards any of us.

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Important Note: please know that there was never any physical abuse in our family. In addition, my parents are actually very loving, kind-hearted and generous people, who do love us (my siblings and I) dearly. However, the sad reality was that they were incapable of providing us with the emotional support and nurturing qualities that we needed as young children due to their own upbringing and traumas. They were both under a lot of stress, and clearly battling their own inner demons. The reality is, they sacrificed a lot to get to Australia. It was a tough journey for the both of them, who both came individually, at different times. Random Story: My mother's first attempt of escaping Vietnam led her to get caught and be imprisoned for a short period. Yep.

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Truthfully, I am grateful for my parents and the financial stability they created for all of us. The "roof" they provided over our heads. Despite the emotional turmoil and chaos in the family home, and the constant criticism that I received from them (especially my mum), I actually love my parents deeply. Plus, I always knew deep down inside, they didn't mean to treat us that way, it was simply the culture and generation they were brought up in... I always knew that my dad didn't mean to be so angry and hot tempered. It was obvious that he was hurting and tired of being "strong" for everyone. It was obvious that he was extremely burnt out. He had clearly spread himself too thin and he needed to rest, to pause. He needed to put himself first... On a positive, I am pleased to report that my parents are much more relaxed in their late 60s, and my father has significantly reduced his alcohol consumption. (Although I'd just love for him to give it up altogether!) My parents eventually made it out to the other side, together. They found the light at the end of the tunnel - proving that circumstances can change at any age. It just takes a whole lot of love and commitment to the relationship and the family.

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Secondly, I want people to know that I was no "angel" and had never once claimed to be! Many have projected that I somehow think this about myself? But in reality, that is their perception. Not mine. Not once have I thought nor said that about myself. Truthfully, I carry many demons and I am flawed in so many ways. I have also made plenty of foolish mistakes throughout my life, especially in my younger years because... I AM HUMAN! We all are. With that said, that doesn't mean we cannot change. That doesn't mean we cannot evolve and learn from our past mistakes and I am living proof of that. I am what some would refer to as the LATE BLOOMER. I started to find my way, my path, after my mid-30s. Right on "divine time". :)

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So back to the main story. As mentioned, the life that I am embarking on now is so far beyond what I had ever envisioned for myself because...

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Since my mid teens (and even into my 30s), I had been known as the "party girl" that frequently hung around what most would consider the "bad crowd", and to some (particularly the self-righteous or "holier than thou" folk), it appeared as though I was moving through life aimlessly, with no real direction or ambition. And for a while, that was my reality! That was my truth! I had no serious goals or plans for myself, and I really didn't know WHO or WHAT I wanted to be? To be frank, I had extremely low self esteem and lacked self confidence. I could not even look at myself in the mirror for too long. Every time I did, I simply saw this "ugly figure".

 

In comparison to my peers (many of them were "alpha females"), I felt that I was at a disadvantage due to my more timid and gentle nature. I certainly learned early on in my life that society saw these specific traits as a sign of someone who is "weak" and so, I accepted my "fate" as one that would entail me having to live a mediocre life, in subordinate roles. And so, I did what I thought was best to simply survive. I decided to follow along with the crowd, to try to "blend in" with different groups, just so that I would be socially accepted. I tried to squeeze myself into all the moulds and labels that other people had assigned me (aka "people please"), in an attempt to not be outcasted or ostracised.

 

But I'll tell you the strange thing about that - no matter how hard I tried to "fit in" with the crowd, I always felt like I stood out like a sore thumb. Even if I "looked the part" my behaviour, my social awkwardness would stand out. On top of that, if for any reason, I accidentally took the spotlight away from others (never intentionally), I'd find myself under attack by my peers (the backhanded comments would start reeling in - disguised as a "joke"). I also felt that no matter what I did to try to please the crowd, it was never truly good enough. There was always something else that I had to improve on, something else I had to "change". Honestly, it was extremely exhausting putting on all these different masks and costumes to try to "keep the peace" which really, was more about my own self-preservation. To feel "safe". It was exhausting not being able to show up as my true, QUIRKY self.

 

When I hung with the "good" kids, they perceived me as a "bad" person for the lifestyle I lived (partying a lot). When I hung with the "bad" folk, they labelled me as a "goodie two shoes" for not partaking in certain activities with them (i.e. abusing certain substances). Sigh. No matter who I was with, it's like I could never win. I never felt like I was truly accepted anywhere...

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REAL FACTS: FYI, I had never tried any kinds of illegal substances until AFTER the age of 30 and even so, it had been minimal in comparison to many of my peers (2 x plant-based and 1 x synthetic). I'd also like to mention that this recreational habit is OBSOLETE and has been for several years. Furthermore, I first turned to certain substances out of pure curiosity as oppose to "escapism" or being "depressed". It was out of wanting to "understand" and "experience" what all the hype was about, and I am glad that I did give it a try because now I have a good reference point. I can actually speak from a place of personal experience. For how can we ever make a judgement upon something without first experiencing it for ourselves? (I am all about being honest and transparent here...)

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When it came to high school, my grades were pretty mediocre (averaging Cs and Ds), and during my final year of high school, I began skipping classes regularly because I had "given up" on my education. I did not see myself as an "academic" (I could barely concentrate or focus in class), and I certainly did not want to keep going to school or university. HELL NO! It just wasn't for me! All I wanted was to get straight into the workforce. To start making money! I didn't really care about the job title or position, I just wanted to start earning whatever money I could as I knew that this would gradually lead me to "freedom from my parents". It would mean that my parents could not continue to dictate how I should spend my money and more importantly, how I should live my life. (Random Note: In the Gene Keys systems, "oppression" is one of the key themes that my soul is learning to transcend and break free from in this life. Hence why, I attracted a lot of controlling personalities and toxic dynamics throughout my life.)

 

Shortly after leaving high school (2002), through an online connection, I managed to get my first job as a waitress at a little Peking duck restaurant, and over the next decade, I bounced around from job to job, industry to industry - which was clearly frowned upon by my parents and all those around me because I was seen as "unstable". Then, in 2010, I unexpectedly landed myself a temporary receptionist role (interestingly enough, through a client from the Beauty Salon I was working at the time), that surprisingly became permanent. To my own amazement, I remained in the corporate world for the next decade after that - moving from industry to industry.

 

Truth be told, I NEVER EVER, EVER imagined myself having an office job. The whole "9 to 5" image of sitting at a desk and typing away at a computer was never my cup of tea! So I thought. However, it just randomly panned out that way and after spending over a decade in the arena, I finally came to accept that it was "not so bad" and actually, I was decent at it. Plus, I could not deny that the money was so much better and it is the main reason that I was able to begin investing heavily in myself and funding all my personal and spiritual endeavours and thus, arrive at this point in my life today!

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People who initially meet me tend to assume that I'm some academic that came from a good family and had the privilege of going to university. But this is NOT the case! I didn't get that far with my schooling. I literally just passed high school. In fact, I should have failed due to attending less than 50% of my classes... I am just lucky (and extremely grateful) that my Year 12, Maths Methods' Teacher had cared enough to request the School Counsellor to pull me aside to have a "private chat" around my sudden changes in behaviour and gave me an exemption. To be honest, I would have gladly failed. I really did not see the point of high school. Now strangely enough, it was during this private, 1-on-1 session with the School Counsellor that I had a very unexpected, emotional break down. Yep. Perhaps it was because this was the FIRST TIME any responsible adult had ever approached me and sincerely asked, "Is everything okay with you? Are you alright? Has something happened? We are all concerned about you..." That's when my heart suddenly cracked wide open. That's when the tears immediately came flooding through. You see, throughout high school, I had tried really hard to put on a "brave face", this rebellious "I don't give a damn" facade, especially after learning in my early childhood years that it was "not okay to cry", especially in public. It was not okay to be a "sook". And so, over time, I slowly reprogrammed myself to hide all my struggles and to only ever cry in private, in the darkest corner of my cupboard... Out in the "real world", I forced myself to become the jester that laughed things off and willingly made fun of myself in front of others (or allowed others to make fun of me). I basically played the role of "ditsy dumb girl" to get by in life. But in that one moment, I felt seen for the first time. I felt exposed. And... it made me very vulnerable... And just like that, everything came crashing down. Needless to say, I purged a lot in that session. I didn't even have any words to explain what was going on with my actual class absences. I just cried, and cried, and cried, while the counsellor kindly passed over tissues and held space for me. It was a moment of much needed emotional release after years of trying to be "strong" and holding in the pain. I had held in a lot up until that point. (Thank you Mrs Soloman and Ms Dreyfus! Thank you for being the first few adults who noticed my struggles and in return, showed empathy and compassion).

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Rewind back even further, as a young child, I had never viewed myself as being talented or skilled at anything, especially after repeating Grade 2. While some may never understand the level of impact that this has had on me mentally and emotionally, let me be completely honest, that one incident, combined with various other factors such as: always being selected last in team sport's activities due to my "petite stature", and then being teased daily for being a "squeaky little mouse" or "cry baby" - well, these very experiences caused me to believe that I was dumb, useless and broken. As the years progressed, I convinced myself that I was a "failure" and that I did not belong in the world because I was not "normal" like everyone else. I was also convinced that everyone at school hated me and that my parents had completely abandoned me.

 

Truthfully, after my two younger siblings arrived in the picture, one after the other, I began developing the false narrative that "my parents no longer loved me" and had both forgotten about my existence. And so, as time went on, I felt like a total mistake. I felt that I didn't deserve to be alive because I was a "waste of space". I carried an unhealthy habit of constantly comparing myself to my siblings, to my peers, to all my friends, and I just never felt like I was good enough for anyone.

 

"You have no purpose. You have no talents. You're not good at anything!" I berated myself daily. Yep. And while I'd love to share the more intimate details of the extremely dark and lonely nights from my depressing childhood years where the negative self talk (suicidal thoughts) got quite sinister and ugly (demonic), and almost led me to end my life (I had made some "lame attempts" as a child), something tells me that I should leave that part of my story for later on.

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In a nutshell, I did not enjoy my younger, primary school years due to the frequent teasing (verbal bullying) and constant feelings of inadequacy and alienation. Whereas high school, surprisingly, was a total different story! It was a complete 180 degree flip! This was where I gradually, bit-by-bit came out of my shell and became more of a rebel (started acting out and finally decided not to conform to the "good girl" identity that my parents expected) and somehow, miraculously created my own kind of popularity. Through this unexpected shift, I began attracting all kinds of people into my world without having to really "try" or "chase". That said, I'd also like to take a moment to attribute these more positive changes in my life to the emergence of online chat rooms such as mIRC and ICQ in the mid-90s. This was when I actually started to discover my favourite mode of self expression - the written word! It was also where I was able to make new (online) friends and began hanging with those who enjoyed the night life just as much as I did. (I had always been a night owl!) The rising age of technology in the 90s was my saving grace! On top of that, I believe adopting new "funky" hair styles and getting my braces taken off in year 11, was a big confidence boost (shift) that placed me on a whole new timeline. (Rising Leo activations!) #IYKYK

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“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

― Nelson Mandela

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Fast forward to 2011, during my late 20s and also my Saturn Return phase (one of the most disempowering periods of my life as I was dating a controlling narcissist and also working under a toxic tyrant boss), I was divinely guided to my very first "fortune telling" experience and was completely MIND BLOWN! I was astonished by the accuracy of what the psychic had said and highly intrigued at how she could even pick up such personal information through scanning a bunch of tea leaves and playing around with a scary-looking deck of cards. From that point onwards, I started engaging the services of psychics and mediums annually for general life guidance as I found these sessions to be quite therapeutic (the future predictions were highly accurate and still are). During these sessions, NOT ONCE did it ever cross my mind that I would (or could) be sitting in their shoes, not until 8 years later... Not until March of 2019!

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Shortly after putting down our family dog (Hamish) in February of 2019, I found myself feeling really lost and depressed. I started to question the whole purpose of "life and death" and began wondering whether Hamish had even reached the "other side"? I could not feel his presence and so, I felt both guilt and heart ache. Suddenly, a quiet voice within guided me to book a psychic reading at the local crystal shop, and this was when my soul's destiny was VERY UNEXPECTEDLY revealed to me...

 

I was advised by the medium that my career path was "highly spiritual" and it was time for me to place more focus and discipline in this area. While a part of me felt some truth in her words (mainly around being in service to others, as this is something I had innately felt and noticed throughout my life), another part of me completely denied the message. I was convinced that I was "not good enough" and that it was simply IMPOSSIBLE for me to be "spiritually gifted" in any way! Me? A psychic? A medium? A spiritual teacher? No f*cken way! There's NO WAY!?!

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Over the next year, my childlike curiosity drove me to meet with various psychics and mediums to dig further into this newfound truth (seek further "external validation") and each time, they relayed similar messages: "Spirituality and serving people is your higher purpose! You are more than ready! You are a healer! You are a teacher! You are a channel! You are a medium! You are a messenger! You need to share your story! YOU NEED TO USE YOUR VOICE!" During one spiritual group workshop, the host (who was a channel) had even identified that I had done spiritual work in numerous lifetimes before, and this was nothing "new" to me. (She also noted I had been persecuted too and I remember tears welling in my eyes as she revealed this...)

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"Truth is always the most important thing, even when it leads us to dark places."

- Deborah Ellis

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Even after receiving so much expert encouragement, I found myself struggling to accept my spiritual purpose. I suffered from "imposter syndrome" and deep-seeded SELF WORTH issues and so, I kept procrastinating. I kept denying my soul's purpose. I kept delaying my growth and my healing. Until... 2020. When Covid-19 hit.

 

Thanks to the pandemic (Melbourne’s 6 x lockdowns to be exact), things began to change. I finally had time to "slow down" and dig deep. REAL DEEP. Interestingly, this was a "Personal Year Cycle 1" for me - a time for new beginnings!

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With no more social obligations or toxic connections to distract me every weekend (as that was very much the life I had been living up until that point), I was finally able to take a pause and reflect on all of my life's experiences, including a specific, childhood trauma (sinister incident) that I had buried deeply and almost forgotten about...

 

I also started to recall various mystical and telepathic experiences from my younger years that at the time of its occurrence, I had brushed off as being "just a coincidence". I also began recalling a recurring childhood dream (more like nightmare because I was witnessing my own death), which I have now come to understand was an ancient past-life memory. There were many other dreams that caused me panic as a young child too. Ones where "random souls" that I could not recognise kept following me around and it really CREEPED me out. I remember yelling directly at the mysterious, floating people, "Please go away!! Please leave me alone!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" The floating people never responded (said anything in return). Instead, they just stood (floated) there in front of me, staring in silence. I have now come to acknowledge that they were likely disincarnate spirits trying to to connect with me from the other side. Ahuh... Look, I was an open vessel as a child and I know this all sounds quite absurd and almost unbelievable. (Some may accuse me of "making this up" as they never heard me speak about this before. But let me remind you, I am highly introverted and thus, very private about certain things - I don't share everything, especially things I know I will be heavily criticised for). Anyhow, these are my personal truths and no one can ever deny me of them. I know what I know, and that's all that needs to be said. :)

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Personally, the pandemic was a blessing in disguise because it was during this time of "guilt-free solitude" that a significant amount of revelations, deep emotional healing and spiritual growth occurred, including the strengthening of my relationship with spirit and a higher power (God/Creator/Divine/Source - whatever label you choose to call it, it's all the same thing). In addition, I managed to reconnect with my soul’s greatest passions and desires – studying all things spiritual, metaphysical and philosophical! (It's a Soul Urge 7 thing)

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After thoroughly analysing NUMEROUS personal charts, everything started to "click" and made so much more sense. I finally understood why throughout my entire life, whilst going through my own personal struggles, I regularly had people gravitating towards me, and without me even asking or initiating, they would start confiding in me. They would entrust me with their most personal and darkest secrets. They would tell me about their burdens and actively asked for my thoughts on the matter. What I found more intriguing was the fact that I ALWAYS KNEW how to respond in return. I always knew how to comfort people - how to effectively help or at least, guide them to someone that I knew could. Whether it was to do with relationships, friendships, career advice, or even mental health patterns, I often knew the answer or at least, could offer a different perspective or a solution to the problem... Like moths to a flame, people would reach out and ask to spend time with me because...

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I AM A HUMANITARIAN BY SOUL DESIGN and I AM A NATURAL BORN HEALER. I AM A CATALYST FOR CHANGE. My energy field is highly soothing and uplifting for people. Yet, on the other end of the spectrum, it can be extremely triggering too (usually for those operating at much lower vibrations because of the intense friction my energy field creates). I can manifest smooth or rude awakenings for those that come into my life. (Don't say I didn't warn you... Approach me at your own risk!)  ;)

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"Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness."

- James Thurber

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Finally, I understand the "higher purpose" of all my challenging and sometimes "dark" life experiences. Experiences such as:

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• having to deal with alienation for my perceived weaknesses or differences as a young child, especially at school (being neurodivergent and hyper-sensitive) which led to deep depression and feelings of unworthiness and rejection/abandonment;

• growing up in an unstable family household;

• experiencing multiple heart breaks over the course of 10 years (during my 20s) for various reasons including: being cheated on by my first love, being dumped because of my own insecurities and paranoia, unintentionally becoming a third party in my next "situationship" which caused me to feel all kinds of shame (I hold no secrets), and finally, dating a controlling narcissist that brought out the very worst in me;

• constant encounters with domineering, competitive, envious, possessive, or toxic personalities (usually alpha females operating in toxic masculinity) who often tried to destroy my self esteem and confidence levels through various manipulation tactics;

• cyber bullying in my teens from anonymous females;

• workplace harassment (working under an ice addict) which led me to develop high anxiety and PTSD;

• frequently being misjudged and undermined due to my youthful appearance or childlike nature, projected onto, gossiped about, type-casted as "weak", and labelled "fake nice" by those who don't even take the time to get to know me personally;

• being painted out as a "villain" for delivering honest truths and calling people out on toxicity, or setting clear boundaries;

• being instantly disliked for no valid reason (other than envy or jealousy);

• consistently attracting broken souls who would at first really like me, then suddenly switch on me and end up projecting their fears, ignorance or unhealed wounds onto me;

• losing my very precious and beloved fur babies (cats) both at a very young age in 2023 (passed due liver disease - she was about to turn 5) and 2025 (sudden death - he was only 7); and...

• one sinister event from my early childhood (not yet revealed), that unfortunately, led me to manifest a rare auto-immune condition.

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The reality is, I have not had an "easy life" as most have foolishly assumed and this is why we should never judge a book by it's cover!

 

I have suffered plenty in this life. Yet through all the pain and all the darkness, I always returned to my HEART. I chose to be HOPEFUL. I chose to SMILE, to LAUGH, and... I chose to continue to help those that called upon me, even the ones that didn't always necessarily deserve it (until I could no longer continue). I chose to be a ray of sunshine for others because that is WHO I AM!

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And while much pain was inflicted upon me, I have no doubt that I potentially inflicted pain on others too, especially in my distant past, where I was young and clearly ignorant. For any pain that I may have caused to another person, I am deeply remorseful and sincerely apologetic. I am truly sorry to those that were on the receiving end of any of my wounded or unconscious behaviours. Trust me when I say, I have never intended to hurt anyone. I am NOT malicious by nature. I hate the idea of hurting people. It is the last thing I ever want to do. And while I do not expect forgiveness, I do hope that people know that I am highly aware of my wrongdoings. I know that I am not perfect and again, would never claim to be. I know I have sinned too. The reality is, nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. With that said, I have learned, I have grown, and I have evolved from my past. I have also learned to give myself grace and to forgive myself too.

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"Forgive them Father; for they know not what they do."

- Jesus

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Truthfully, I am not ashamed of my past, nor do I wish to make any changes to the life I have lived up until now because I understand that "without challenge, you cannot grow". It is my past experiences that have led me here today, and this is why I decided to be very open about my personal story here. This is why I purposely included various photos from all the different aspects of my life (scroll through the images at the top of the page to see). I wanted people to meet the most authentic version of me, the REAL ME. Not some watered down "spiritual version" of me. I did not wish to hide my past as if it never existed because it did and it made me. Again, it is my past that has shaped me into the person I am today, and not only that, it is my past that has blessed me with infinite wisdom (life experiences) that I can now leverage to serve others efficiently.

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"Now you see me standing in the lights, but you never saw my sacrifice, or all the nights I had to struggle to survive. Had to lose it all to win the fight, I had to fall so many times. Now, I'm the last one standing."

- Skylar Grey

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Yes, I had to overcome a ridiculous amount of challenges to get to where I am today, that said, my life was not all bad either. It has been divinely balanced out with an abundance of blissful experiences too (more so in the last decade). I have travelled plenty and kicked many personal goals which my younger self would have NEVER dreamed possible! And in 2013, I unexpectedly crossed paths with my soul mate, who I actually owe a lot of my personal growth and ambition to. Not because he did anything in particular. Let's get real here, I had to do all the "dirty" (inner shadow) work and heal on my own. However, it was simply in the way he lived and navigated his own life, which INSPIRED me to do better for myself. More importantly, it was in how he knew how to hold space for me to just "be" and thus, allowed me to blossom and evolve at my own pace without judgement, leading me to become unapologetically ME!

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I now understand that everything that has occurred in my life, no matter how tough, has been for a reason. For a divine purpose. It has all been about setting myself up to be able to serve humanity well, because some of the best teachers in this world possess "lived experience" (not just book knowledge). I had to travel down various winding roads where many obstacles were thrown at me (and silly mistakes were made), before I could align to my highest path. Finally (and thankfully), I have arrived at the most soul nourishing chapter of my life! It may have taken almost 40 years, but finally, I AM IN SOUL ALIGNMENT! :)

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Serving people is what I AM most passionate about and this is why Honest Flow has sprung to life. It is time for me to LIGHT UP and SPEAK UP! It is time for me to reveal my true colours and to share my personal story to give people HOPE, and to INSPIRE or TRIGGER everlasting change! I never want anyone to go through the pain or struggles that I have, especially on their own, and where I can eliminate, or at least reduce the suffering, I WILL!

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My soul mission is to create a more loving, understanding, and accepting world, especially for our CHILDREN and YOUNGER GENERATIONS because they are the FUTURE LEADERS of this planet. My mission is to speak up for all those who cannot, to be the VOICE FOR THE VOICELESS because I know I have the courage, the gifts, and willpower to do so. I will advocate not only for the underdogs and misfits of society but for anyone who has ever felt mistreated or misjudged based on superficial reasons. I do not care for the separation games or which "side" you are playing on. In my world, there are no sides or social classes. I only care about ONE thing, and that is LOVE FOR ALL OF HUMANITY.

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I AM TAYO and I AM THE WOUNDED HEALER, and I am on a mission to become a HEART-LED LEADER that leverages my EMOTIONAL INTELLLIGENCE. I embrace both my light and my darkness, and my life purpose is to serve others - to bring everyone back home into their hearts. My mission is to LEAD BY EXAMPLE and to sprinkle laughter and childlike joy wherever I go! :)

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If I am graced with the opportunity to support you, please know that I will always have your best interests at heart. Thank you from the depths of my soul for holding space in this very moment. Thank you for investing your precious time and energy to hear my story. To see me, to know me, and hopefully by now, understand me. If you got this far, WOW. Thank you again for being open to understanding me.

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I look forward to re-igniting your inner flame and realigning you to your path, to your heart. I truly believe that everyone has something special to share to the world, a gift, an expression that it truly unique to you, and it's about time we figured that out. In the words of "Riri" - it is truly time to... SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND!​

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With love and the highest of intentions,

Tayo

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